And I will have already made up in my mind that it is necessary and there will be NOTHING he could say to make me change my mind. But when I have the conversation, I want to already be on the road to Two-Bedroom Apartmentville. But I also know that sometimes you need to have your SHIT STRAIGHT before you start running off at the mouth. There’s a part of me that wants to tell him because I feel as if I’m keeping a secret from him. I care about myself and my own mental health. But being the “Me” I am at this time, and knowing what I know, I DON’T GIVE A DAMN about what people think. When I look back, I know it was supposed to happen otherwise my son wouldn’t be here. Long before that night I knew it wasn’t right, but money had already been spent on deposits for this and that. But I was afraid of what people would say, or think. The night before, I was sick to my stomach. When I married the first time, I knew it was a mistake. I think it’s necessary for us to survive at this point…for me to survive. I wonder if he feels as if we will have failed if I move out. Not to be there long enough to leave piles of shit, or shoes, in random places.
A place where he comes to visit for a few days and then leaves. I don’t necessarily want to move out of state, but just have my own space. In my mind, I’d love to see me get a job, move out, and us going back to the way it was when I lived in another state.
We (mostly he) talk about spending the rest of our lives together, getting married,…but how does that work when I don’t feel as if I can live with him? I love my mother dearly, but I know we cannot live together. I’m not working right now and don’t have insurance so… YOU GUYS IT IS!
Kevin hart laugh at my pain you gon learn today professional#
I’d rather share my thoughts with you guys and a professional therapist. I’m scared of what I might say if I talk too much.
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